How many times have you been wronged? Everyone raise your hand!
Now, how do you usually respond? I know that often times our response isn’t honorable, in fact, sometimes it even involves a few hurtful thoughts, actions, curse words or all of the above. While other people have the power to hurt us I’ve learned that my response is my responsibility.
Let’s say this together … my response is my responsibility!
One more time… my response is my responsibility!
The first time I heard this, it stung. It stung a lot, and this is a good thing. It’s good because nobody has the power to rule our inner response. Yet most often we blame others for our reactions… my friend, our responses are the overflow of what’s already in our hearts and others’ actions only reveal to us what’s been hidden all along.
Examples and Lies We Believe
- You offend me so you deserve this response, this is an example of seeking your own revenge
- You upset me so I won’t speak to you all day!
- I would be happy if it wasn’t for people. I’m perfect, everyone should be more like me.
- How could that cashier make that mistake?
- Hurry up, you are going to make me late.
- My life circumstances cause me to be bad.
- I grew up poor so I need to steal, I’m justified in doing this.
- My (XYZ) treated me badly so I’ll treat others badly
At the core of all of these examples, the lies we believe lead us to humiliate others by attempting to erase our own shame and restore pride. UGH… Nobody is blameless and we’ve all done this before but it still doesn’t make it right. The good news is that we can choose to correct our own responses… BECAUSE?
Our response is our responsibility!
Ways We Can Course Correct
- Become aware, realize what you are doing, when you are doing it, and extend grace and kindness to others.
- Ask for help, confide in your friends/spouse or pastor to help you break this cycle.
- Ask for help, seek professional counseling for the deep deep wounds or traumas you’ve not yet overcome.
- Read God’s word and be transformed daily… But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. Gal 5:22-26
Process over perfection. Start today!
With love,
Abby A
