It Takes A Village: Finding Mine Through Seasons of Mothering

Building a Village

Hi Mamas!  You all know that saying, “It takes a village to raise a child,” right?   In my introduction for Miami Moms Blog, I mentioned my friend who helped me when I had my first baby.  She was only in Miami for a short while.  After she left I found other new moms through church, and at the park, and at ballet as my family grew.  We became a little village of mommies who supported, reassured and cheered each other on, through the ups and downs of new motherhood.

The Home School Village

Well, when I decided to home school my children my village changed.  My children spent a lot of time with me, but now they also spent a lot of time with other children of various ages.  The children ate and played and learned together, while we mothers talked a lot, and ate lunch at lunchtime.  As a former teacher, I happily volunteered to teach a few fun classes to the little ones.  We looked out for each other’s children and took turns caring for the babies in the nursery.  It was a wonderful time of friendship and learning for our family.

The Village in Exile

It was a big loss when we moved away to another state.  There was no home school village.  Our village was our church (which was very small with a few families when we got there), and our cul-de-sac where two other families with children lived.  Those days were long and hard.  And lonely.  But as the church grew and my children grew, a children’s ministry and youth group grew.  And this village thrived and the children thrived in it.  My children transitioned from homeschooling.  The eldest went to a public school of the arts and then to college, the second to a private high school and then college, the third to a Christian middle school.  And then we moved back to Miami.

Where Is My Village Now?

Our old home school village is no longer here.  Some of the moms are still here, and with them, it’s like I never left!  But their children are married, or married with children, or moved far away.  And I have one child left, on her way to college in the fall.  Where is my village now?  Who do I talk to about all those little things that teenagers do or are into?  I read everything in the news so I can be up on the latest.  Sometimes though, I might need a hard question answered or a quick opinion, something I’d like to hear about from other mothers.  Mothers who’ve maybe been there, and lived to shed light for others to make it through.  I don’t know a lot of mothers who have children just like mine.  But I found a solution!

The World Is My Village

Moms of children from ages 15-25, there is a village for us on Facebook called Grown and Flown Parents. This is a village 107K large and we can get our questions answered on just about anything.  There are 87 topics!  Politics is not allowed.  This is a closed group so you will have to answer questions about the number and ages of your children, and since it is on Facebook they most likely check out your profile and posts before they accept you.  The group has administrators who approve postings.  They also allow you to post anonymously through them if your information is sensitive and you want to keep it private but still get input from other moms.  Grown and Flown is a great resource, and if you feel like you’re being left out, give it a try.  You just might find your new village.